Post by Oliver on Jul 17, 2008 22:06:32 GMT -5
The cemetery hadn’t changed since Asha had visited a year ago. It was still the small plot of land, littered with broken tombstones and overgrown weeds, found on the outskirts of a shabby town.
Although there was no beaten path to guide the way to what she was looking for, Asha knew exactly what direction to head in. She’d made the trip many times now without the help of anyone. She knew the way by heart, just as Ezra probably had, and Swiffoot, and most likely Xan as well.
Green hues swept across the tops of the stones as Asha moved along with paying much attention to what she was doing. She walked like a ghost, broken and empty. Her feet knew the way and she let them take the lead.
Asha had walked this same path so many years ago, though she’d followed the close behind the brown wolf who’d known the way better. She could still remember almost every detail of the day she’d come to find Ezra. He’d been sitting by one of the ancient looking tombstones, his eyes moist and his head down, but Ezra wouldn’t be there today. He hadn’t been to this cemetery in a long time.
Asha’s heart grew heavier with each step. She still looked much like the same girl who’d come for Ezra, but she knew she was someone different now. There was emptiness within her, a longing for something she would never have again. The eyes that scanned the area weren’t as vibrant as they once had been, her face holding a darker, sadder look. She didn’t stand tall or walk with any kind of pride, she was a broken being.
When she finally stopped, she was in front of a chipped tomb. Its letters were fading from the weather it had endured for what was probably centuries now. However, it was different from the others because the weeds had been trimmed or pulled away to free the stone from a veil of knapweed. It was the only stone that seemed to have had a visitor recently. Asha didn’t have to see the deep red petals of the rose set before the slab of corroding limestone to know who had been there before her.
Xan always got to the gravesite before her. It didn’t matter how early she chose to come, he always beat her at setting down the first flower. She wondered if he tried it. It wasn’t like she was much competition though; she never really tried to come early enough to see him. It was probably better that way; she’d rather be alone here. She wasn’t exactly sure what she would say to her former brother-in-law anyway. They’d never really talked much before; now that Ezra was gone he really didn’t have much of a reason to talk to her now.
Bending her knees slowly, Asha moved to sit by the grave. Her red hair was jostled slightly by a small breeze as she stared at the surface of the marker that announced the resting place of the mother-in-law she’d never met. She knew the fading letters were supposed to spell out the name “Yukiko” but the “Y” was barely visible and one “K” looked more like a lower case “L”. The “I” had disappeared completely. The poor condition of the grave was sorrowful but Asha had refrained from any ideas to fix up the marker. It wasn’t her place to do so.
A few moments of staring, then Asha reached down to place a second rose at the base of the tombstone. The second rose wasn’t as deep of a red color as Xan’s but it was still beautiful.
“It’s me again this year,” Asha’s voice spoke softly, saying what she had said almost every year now since she’d first started coming alone. “I’m here in Ezra’s place…” She always felt like she needed to explain herself. “I know it’s not the same but… it can’t be any other way.” Maybe she was just trying to explain things to herself each time.
Asha’s green orbs lowered as the crushing feeling she knew so well crashed in upon her chest. She felt her body tremble and her vision blurred, making her shut her eyes as she felt the hot tears burn her cheeks. She pulled her knees up to her chest, folding her arms over them and resting her head on them as the pain made itself at home. She knew that the tears and pain wouldn’t be leaving any time soon; maybe they would never leave.
Though she hated it, she couldn’t help but let herself be overcome with the grief she felt. She thought so much of Ezra and how she thought living longer than the average human wouldn’t be so hard with him by her side. By now she had watched Swiftfoot, Tessia, and even her very own son leave into a world she was too afraid to go to herself. They had joined Ezra and his mother and left her behind. Kiri had grown and had her own life. Asha wouldn’t dare to show Kiri just how alone she felt. It was unfair to the lynx demon. She wanted Kiri to feel free to have her own life, so a strong mask was also in place when Kiri came to visit, but Asha was always heartbroken to see her leave.
Ezra had said it was hard to outlive friends and family. Asha had been prepared but she’d always planned to have Ezra. She always pictured he would be there to confide in. Ezra had made friends with many people who would die long before he was expected to, but he also had many friends who shared his unique lifespan. Asha felt a world away from those people. They had been close friends of Ezra’s but she didn’t feel particularly close to them. She’d been the baggage that came with their good friend, their ties severed with Ezra’s death. They’d been polite to her but she wasn’t going to go to them now. They had their own lives and problems.
Her sides heaved as she quietly trembled and sobbed. She clung tighter to her knees, longing so much for the life she’d had with Ezra. She wished she could take her own life as he had, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She was too much of a coward to end things as he had. She was still hardly able to believe he’d actually done it himself.
Suddenly she turned her face up, looking to the sky. She could only see blurs of blue and white coloring because of her tears, but she stared up anyway. Was he watching her from somewhere up there with the others? The thought only made the pressure in her chest tighten and move upwards until it was suffocating her. Her eyes screwed tied again and she mumbled his name as the sun made her wet cheeks sparkle with a tragic beauty.
The huddled from remained by the tombstone until the sun began to set. The world would soon be cast into darkness, though to Asha the world felt dark all the time now, but she sighed and wiped her eyes, still shaking. Weakly she pushed herself back to her feet, her head hung low.
“I’ll be back next year…” She muttered softly to no one, and then turned, heading back through the sea of graves. She pushed through overgrown weeds, weaving around the stones. She was heading back the way she’d come, planning to return to a ghostly home where no one would be waiting for her.
Although there was no beaten path to guide the way to what she was looking for, Asha knew exactly what direction to head in. She’d made the trip many times now without the help of anyone. She knew the way by heart, just as Ezra probably had, and Swiffoot, and most likely Xan as well.
Green hues swept across the tops of the stones as Asha moved along with paying much attention to what she was doing. She walked like a ghost, broken and empty. Her feet knew the way and she let them take the lead.
Asha had walked this same path so many years ago, though she’d followed the close behind the brown wolf who’d known the way better. She could still remember almost every detail of the day she’d come to find Ezra. He’d been sitting by one of the ancient looking tombstones, his eyes moist and his head down, but Ezra wouldn’t be there today. He hadn’t been to this cemetery in a long time.
Asha’s heart grew heavier with each step. She still looked much like the same girl who’d come for Ezra, but she knew she was someone different now. There was emptiness within her, a longing for something she would never have again. The eyes that scanned the area weren’t as vibrant as they once had been, her face holding a darker, sadder look. She didn’t stand tall or walk with any kind of pride, she was a broken being.
When she finally stopped, she was in front of a chipped tomb. Its letters were fading from the weather it had endured for what was probably centuries now. However, it was different from the others because the weeds had been trimmed or pulled away to free the stone from a veil of knapweed. It was the only stone that seemed to have had a visitor recently. Asha didn’t have to see the deep red petals of the rose set before the slab of corroding limestone to know who had been there before her.
Xan always got to the gravesite before her. It didn’t matter how early she chose to come, he always beat her at setting down the first flower. She wondered if he tried it. It wasn’t like she was much competition though; she never really tried to come early enough to see him. It was probably better that way; she’d rather be alone here. She wasn’t exactly sure what she would say to her former brother-in-law anyway. They’d never really talked much before; now that Ezra was gone he really didn’t have much of a reason to talk to her now.
Bending her knees slowly, Asha moved to sit by the grave. Her red hair was jostled slightly by a small breeze as she stared at the surface of the marker that announced the resting place of the mother-in-law she’d never met. She knew the fading letters were supposed to spell out the name “Yukiko” but the “Y” was barely visible and one “K” looked more like a lower case “L”. The “I” had disappeared completely. The poor condition of the grave was sorrowful but Asha had refrained from any ideas to fix up the marker. It wasn’t her place to do so.
A few moments of staring, then Asha reached down to place a second rose at the base of the tombstone. The second rose wasn’t as deep of a red color as Xan’s but it was still beautiful.
“It’s me again this year,” Asha’s voice spoke softly, saying what she had said almost every year now since she’d first started coming alone. “I’m here in Ezra’s place…” She always felt like she needed to explain herself. “I know it’s not the same but… it can’t be any other way.” Maybe she was just trying to explain things to herself each time.
Asha’s green orbs lowered as the crushing feeling she knew so well crashed in upon her chest. She felt her body tremble and her vision blurred, making her shut her eyes as she felt the hot tears burn her cheeks. She pulled her knees up to her chest, folding her arms over them and resting her head on them as the pain made itself at home. She knew that the tears and pain wouldn’t be leaving any time soon; maybe they would never leave.
Though she hated it, she couldn’t help but let herself be overcome with the grief she felt. She thought so much of Ezra and how she thought living longer than the average human wouldn’t be so hard with him by her side. By now she had watched Swiftfoot, Tessia, and even her very own son leave into a world she was too afraid to go to herself. They had joined Ezra and his mother and left her behind. Kiri had grown and had her own life. Asha wouldn’t dare to show Kiri just how alone she felt. It was unfair to the lynx demon. She wanted Kiri to feel free to have her own life, so a strong mask was also in place when Kiri came to visit, but Asha was always heartbroken to see her leave.
Ezra had said it was hard to outlive friends and family. Asha had been prepared but she’d always planned to have Ezra. She always pictured he would be there to confide in. Ezra had made friends with many people who would die long before he was expected to, but he also had many friends who shared his unique lifespan. Asha felt a world away from those people. They had been close friends of Ezra’s but she didn’t feel particularly close to them. She’d been the baggage that came with their good friend, their ties severed with Ezra’s death. They’d been polite to her but she wasn’t going to go to them now. They had their own lives and problems.
Her sides heaved as she quietly trembled and sobbed. She clung tighter to her knees, longing so much for the life she’d had with Ezra. She wished she could take her own life as he had, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She was too much of a coward to end things as he had. She was still hardly able to believe he’d actually done it himself.
Suddenly she turned her face up, looking to the sky. She could only see blurs of blue and white coloring because of her tears, but she stared up anyway. Was he watching her from somewhere up there with the others? The thought only made the pressure in her chest tighten and move upwards until it was suffocating her. Her eyes screwed tied again and she mumbled his name as the sun made her wet cheeks sparkle with a tragic beauty.
The huddled from remained by the tombstone until the sun began to set. The world would soon be cast into darkness, though to Asha the world felt dark all the time now, but she sighed and wiped her eyes, still shaking. Weakly she pushed herself back to her feet, her head hung low.
“I’ll be back next year…” She muttered softly to no one, and then turned, heading back through the sea of graves. She pushed through overgrown weeds, weaving around the stones. She was heading back the way she’d come, planning to return to a ghostly home where no one would be waiting for her.